Battling the fears? Or something else?
I am not sure as to what is the cause of what's happening to me these days! Or may be I know the reason but not willing to accept it, and hence battling it. I literally have been up since 2 AM today, trying to wrap up work. I am quite excited about what's gonna happen. I am looking forward to it.
There is this new life I have. The kind of life I did not actually even dream of. Its like - some roads are destined to be covered irrespective. Its that road. Its that path which I am traversing right now.
I am in a city these days - that's a huge transition from where I was a couple of months back. It's a new life - the life where I am learning to manage and manage quite a lot - right from when do I need to send my clothes for laundry?, what to cook for the night?, where do I go to purchase 'xyz' things, etc and to things like how can 'this' be taught in class, how could I become better in dealing with certain situations with certain people - it's about everything!
To say the least - it is teaching me a lot - things that I could not even think of doing - I am doing them now. I always had this fear of swimming in the dark - today, even though I have been up since such a long time, I pushed myself to do this - I do not know what ignited me (or may be I know and again not willing to accept it) but I did it! And I am quite proud about it!
I do have a lot of thoughts in mind - but I am going to save them for the plans that I have ahead! I think I just want to sum up by reiterating something that I wrote a few months back :-
It's interesting to see how certain general unintended interactions with people can cause a sudden turn of events for you in general. Life takes a sudden U-turn from being focused towards a goal to getting deviated from it and thinking more about the present deviation! Such are the times, when actually one should not get lost in the nitty-gritties of the deviation, rather gather courage to take a step back and come back on the original track!
I know its easy said than being done, but its a total bliss the moment you realize something is trying to enervate all that you have, and you start taking actions to replenish yourself!
In a hope to write more!
Raman Bahl
