The deep thoughts - The type - writer voice! 

Thank you! 

Here's an ode to some of my favourites! I can relate to some of them - probably for having experienced them in my life...some of them I believe in and some of them I want to believe in /apply now!

As I read each one of them, I get reminded of something - something that is deep there, somewhere in me - speaking for itself! 

It will be difficult to probably share everything, but here's an attempt! :)

Very tough, but very true! Have not been able to apply this in my life - I like emotions, thoughts, people and situations which are permanent - forever and ever types! How can you just move on in life, just flow with things? #wanttoapply

#wanttobelieve

Its very rare, coming across such people - people who can be there for you - like anytime, unconditionally . Even when they that they are there for you - may be it does not always get validated - ALL the time! Everyone has their own limitations! 

#sosotrue

The Almighty has got it all! :) 

#reflection

This is just so deep!  Who am I when no one's watching? That reflects who you truly are! 

#that'sme

But I do not do the stupidest random shit when I get comfortable! I share - everything, literally! Everything! 

#belief

Once broken, relationships cannot be mended back! You've got to respect and maintain them! Have experienced a few rare cases though - where ofcourse things did not remain the way they were - but at least it was better to have something than nothing - to say the least! 

#sodifficult

How can this be possible? Everyone on this planet is going to get lost - now or later! But deep! 

Ah! 

#yes! 

#belief

Its difficult but I have done this before - a couple of times! Increased my confidence level drastically! 

#belief

For giving us so much, 

The Family,

The Love,

The Friends,

The Life,

The People,

The Care, 

The Concern! 

#hmm

#I will!! 

#haveexperienced

Know this feeling! :) 

Statement of Purpose - Why am I doing what I am doing?

It was interesting to reflect on the Statement of Purpose today. The purpose - why I am doing, what I am doing. It was a part of the training session today - where everyone was made to think about this and something which stood out for me.

When I started thinking about it, HONESTLY, I was not getting a real answer. I do have a huge poster in my office which reads - PURPOSE - KIDS - surrounded by memories of kids from TFI and from my time spent training teachers in Himachal, (Gujarat is still missing here and the memories which will be created now, here, are not there - will keep adding them as the time passes).

Today while thinking about it, yes the kids definitely came to my mind - but only for an instant, What came was this -

"For the dearth of an entity called _______ <something is missing>"

And then I wrote there - "think about it!" 

I do not know suddenly why kids did not come as THE answer today - which makes me think about yet another thing - "Does this SoP keep changing, as one progresses in life?" Probably, YES! (and btw this poster thing is just a week old exercise, I did in school - just with myself!) 

Reflecting more about the SoP now, I think why I am doing what I am doing is for finding what this "missing" piece is. I have not been able to find it out, till date. And probably that is the reason that I am mostly restless.

And while this quest for finding that "something" continues, here is to a new beginning -

 And to this -

<in the perfect weather lying down in the garden right outside school - looking at the sky and simultaneously thinking about work!>

Battling the fears? Or something else? 

I am not sure as to what is the cause of what's happening to me these days! Or may be I know the reason but not willing to accept it, and hence battling it. I literally have been up since 2 AM today, trying to wrap up work. I am quite excited about what's gonna happen. I am looking forward to it. 

There is this new life I have. The kind of life I did not actually even dream of. Its like - some roads are destined to be covered irrespective.  Its that road. Its that path which I am traversing right now. 

I am in a city these days - that's a huge transition from where I was a couple of months back. It's a new life - the life where I am learning to manage and manage quite a lot - right from when do I need to send my clothes for laundry?, what to cook for the night?, where do I go to purchase 'xyz' things, etc and to things like how can 'this' be taught in class, how could I become better in dealing with certain situations with certain people - it's about everything! 

To say the least - it is teaching me a lot - things that I could not even think of doing - I am doing them now. I always had this fear of swimming in the dark - today, even though I have been up since such a long time, I pushed myself to do this - I do not know what ignited me (or may be I know and again not willing to accept it) but I did it! And I am quite proud about it! 

I do have a lot of thoughts in mind - but I am going to save them for the plans that I have ahead! I think I just want to sum up by reiterating something that I wrote a few months back :- 

It's interesting to see how certain general unintended interactions with people can cause a sudden turn of events for you in general. Life takes a sudden U-turn from being focused towards a goal to getting deviated from it and thinking more about the present deviation! Such are the times, when actually one should not get lost in the nitty-gritties of the deviation, rather gather courage to take a step back and come back on the original track!

I know its easy said than being done, but its a total bliss the moment you realize something is trying to enervate all that you have, and you start taking actions to replenish yourself!

In a hope to write more! 

Raman Bahl