Why grow up?!?!

Something caught my attention on a red light today - 

It was fun watching the child have fun with the tree. This is a busy street, yet he found something fun for him to do! 

Makes me think - why does one ever need to grow up?!?! Being able to have fun in a busy, polluted, crowded street like this makes this child a grown up, anyway! 

*Deep Thoughts*

Appreciating the small things in life! :)

Here's to the small moments! 

It is very important to appreciate small moments around yourself! I am liking the new me - have lost considerable amount of weight, my self-discipline with my new habit - everyday 3 kilometers walk (and it has been more than a month now!), and self-control on a few things I have been badly wanting to do (which includes blasting someone with my anger :X)! And I have been sick as well since last few days (I think that is because of the anger) - not liking this though! 

It is only when you start appreciating these small moments, you really start living your life more happily! So here goes mine!

I was on my way back from office in the metro, when something caught my attention - 

Yes, this was how the sky looked like, sometime last week! And the data said that this was one of the cleanest days in Delhi - air wise! I had a big smile looking at the delightful sky and its glory! And that very moment, I said to myself - 

Dear Sky, love you to the moon and back! 😊😊

I spent my last Saturday, with a friend from Barefoot College, Tilonia! I picked him up from the airport, took him home, got him to meet my family and then we both set out to roam around Delhi! Accompanied him to Hauz Khas Fort, then Deer park, then India Gate, saw the War Memorial there, then CP where we went to Oxford Book Store and Nando's! 

The thing which moved me the most that day was the time I spent at the War memorial. I saw a lady whose husband had lost his life fighting for the country. She had come to pay her tribute to all the soldiers - and I just could not get away with thinking about the emotions she must be going through - thinking about her husband who had lost his life too! Could not even imagine how it would have been for her! And she stood there upright, confident! *Speechless* Hats off! 

Then I met another friend - who is becoming a TFI Fellow now. Wished him all the very best for his journey ahead!

And this is what we had together -

Yummm! 

To life! To the small moments! :)

To Madan and more! 

~To Life~

I recently visited OELP - Organization for Early Literacy Promotion, in Rajasthan! It was a learning trip that I did with my colleagues from TAP India. Those of you who I have met in person, or spoken randomly post this trip - you all know how fantastic an experience it was! Right from the peaceful environment we were in, to the food we ate, to the classrooms we saw, to everything and anything that was a part of the trip - I must say that I truly am blessed that I got the chance to be there! 

The trip got me to reflect so much - think and experience inclusion from a different angle. I even suggested KD to get his team here (only if he takes my suggestions seriously - although I meant for him to make the trip with me first, but anyway! - he is a different story, altogether!) The trip got me to see teachers from a completely different lens! The trip got me to experience the saying - "It takes one entire village to raise a child!" The trip got me to experience what working on ground is like, what knowing each child in actual sense means, what caring for all children actually mean, and so much more! And I got to experience a live classroom teaching by this wonderful soul - Madan! 

Madan is 12th pass, and is from the same community as the children in his classroom. He studied in one of the night schools of his village and according to him - he is one of those rare persons from his village who have studied until the 12th grade. The classroom upon entry, gave me a very normal feeling - of course it was aptly print rich, not overdone at all, with a dari for the children to sit! But what followed next inside the classroom, was something that left me awestruck! 

Madan started with a circle time, the students greeted each other, energizers were done, calendar was discussed - and with the calendar it seemed that he covered a lot of other Math concepts. Then he did a read aloud session, with all children completely captivated in the story - feeling sad when something wrong had happened, feeling genuinely happy when something good had happened in the story. He let his children lie down in the class, they spoke anything that their heart wanted to say, they participated in every small activity that Madan had planned for them and they took tremendous pride in showing us that they could read - any book that they were given! :) I saw such joy on their faces! 

I generally have a lot to say when I observe classes like this - but seeing this class, I literally just wanted to be silent and just embrace the moment - how seamlessly he transitioned from one concept to the next, how seamlessly he just happened to have done and discussed so much with the children in the class - it seemed like a perfect place to meditate for me! 

After finishing the class, Madan walks confidently towards us and asks for a feedback. I literally did not want to write anything in his feedback notebook - I just wished him all the very best for his journey in the sector and for making things so easy for his children! 

On my way back from the school to the place where we were staying, I just thought of one thing - I want to feel the same sense of satisfaction as probably Madan would be feeling post the end of his class with his kids! It is so important to feel this accomplished everyday in the sector we are working in! It's like saying everyday to yourself towards the end of the day - "Today, I left no stone untouched/unturned to make things possible for my children I work with!" 
I think all organizations working in this sector should be able to say this everyday! And that's when we will be able to achieve something for our kids in the society! 

I so wanted to write about Madan ever since I came back from OELP.  I had shared my reflections and notes with a few people earlier, but I waited to find the right time to write about him - so I could write my exact feelings! 

The second part of my blog is about my sickness  - since last 4 to 5 days, and I know the exact reason why! Just waiting for the mid next month to come asap! And meanwhile, let me traverse this road, confidently! :) 

To Life! 

To Realizations!

To More! 

And to kids!

Me engrossed in a story telling session with the kids in the community! 

What does setting of the sun mean for me?

I have a connection with the sun, in multiple ways:-

1. My father's name means 'The Sun'. 

2. I am a morning person - all rising days will have no meaning without the sun! 

3. I associate its rising and setting with everything 'life-like'! 

What does setting of the sun mean for me? 

So today while entering the metro station to head back home, the beauty of the setting sun caught my attention. 

Somewhere deep inside, I started feeling a bit sad as once its settled, everything would turn dark. The beauty of the sky, the feeling of being alive, the activities of everyone during the day-time - be it us humans, or animals, or birds, or any other living creature on this earth - all of those will slow down, comparatively. And I honestly have great apprehensions in being slow. I like being fast - very fast. And there are evidences from my daily life that would prove the same. The slowness sometimes kills me. And takes me on a guilt ride. Don't know from where this has come in - but it is there! 

And then I felt sad as night signifies darkness too. And I do not like being in the dark - unless I am lying on the floor and gazing at the shining stars (and for that, I for sure will have to live somewhere else and not in Delhi :P). But darkness makes me creepy and somewhere I do not really relate to darkness. 

The gloomy feeling was just settling in, but suddenly the thoughts inside my head started changing. I looked at the sun one more time and noticed the orange, glorifying, bright sparkle it showed even when it was setting down. And that very moment I thought to myself - even when it is setting and would be leaving behind the dark night sky, yet it is so proud, so powerful and so satisfied with all that it has done in the day! 

It is setting in like it has no regrets, whatsoever. It is setting in, like even after setting, it will still have a life. It is settling like someone who has sacrificed so much for others and yet is happy and content. It is setting in, leaving a mark. It is setting in, to come back again - with a life full of promises. It is setting in for a tough day yet again! 

In this life, I surely want to set like the sun! Yes, that is what I want! Its difficult though! As to shine like the sun, I will have to burn like one! 

Difficult, Very difficult! 

#Love you Sun! 

# Thank you! 

Some more pictures from today!

The rain and the sun! :)

Like water, can humans too become a 'universal solvent'?

The thought occurred in my mind when I saw this fountain right outside Humayun's Tomb, the other day.

For a minute, I thought, the water flowing through this fountain, spoke for itself - 'you put me where-ever and how-so-ever, I will surely adapt there'! There is so much power in the water that we see around us - the kind of power that one cannot even imagine. I wonder sometimes - if water would have been a living being, would it still be so adjusting and flexible? 

Now its time for me to throw some light on the subject on which I started writing this post. I thought about it, from different angles and tried relating it to one's life and even my life for that matter. I will try sharing those perspectives here and map them with the normal perceptions of human beings. 

Perspective # 1 - Take in everything, dissolve everything, accept everything

For a human being - Let's take in all the good, but the bad? Eh? 

Perspective # 2 - I am just so indispensable! 

For a human being - Should I become indispensable for anyone? Is this even possible? 

Perspective # 3 - Should I really take in everything I come across? 

From a human being's perspective - Even the shit? Not at all! 

Perspective # 4 - What about the exploitation? 

From a human being's perspective - Adapting in all situations = Getting yourself exploited! 

While it will be worthwhile to live a 'life' like the water on this earth (considering the fact that water does not have the 'life-like' elements to be even affected because of its exploitation), but humans possibly cannot ever be universal solvents. They are just meant to take in what they want, what they desire and have a permanent access to a 'universal filter' that makes them see things the way they want, that makes them do what they want, and that makes them control every other thing around them! Too much restriction, I must say - being a human! 

Got to live life! 

#Only if water could speak! 😵

#Love Delhi - Place 3 - Humayun's Tomb!

The day today for me at office ended really early - I was not in the office actually. I had a few meetings in South Delhi and by 3 PM I was all set. I had almost entered the metro station to come back home when I realized that I can actually detour a bit and see the Humayun's Tomb. Having lived in Delhi for so long, and this also being my hometown, I had never been here before! YES - that's true! But today, I finally saw it and am finding myself at peace post it!

I will not describe what I saw - for I think everyone would either know those facts, or if they don't -they can easily manage a google and find out OR visit themselves some day. I would instead describe the activities I did and the feelings I had post experiencing the different things that I did. 

Dilapidated Structure - on the path to the Humayun's Tomb

After having seen Isa Khan's Tomb and the mosque, I went to this dilapidated structure (it does not have a name and I am not quite sure about what it is - pic above). I could not see anyone around here - and since I love silence and isolation, I probably would have been the first one (today) to have thought about going there and seeing what it is. The structure has a staircase which directly leads one to its top and guess what - YES - that is what I did. I climbed up the staircase and it took me to a decent height - a height which made me feel good, watching nature from that angle and then others from a distance watching me and following my footsteps :P LOL. Yaaa - after 5 to 10 minutes, I saw a group of people wanting to climb up this staircase and then experiencing this height! <TOO MUCH DELHI CROWD 😝 > 

I drifted myself away from the people as soon as I saw there were more coming, and soon went to a place with very less people again. I walked until I found myself at the back side of a tomb which had graves of the 'Afsarwala - Officer people'. And there the sight that caught my attention was this - 

The parrots and the squirrel!

The squirrel wanted to go to its home-hole and the parrots had blocked its way. I stood for around 5 minutes here, and from 1 parrot, I was able to spot good 5 of them - all making parrot sounds and inviting me towards them to stay for a longer time :) 

Post seeing the Humayun's tomb, something else caught my attention - 

The sky

The tree

I sat under the tree (pic above) for good 30 minutes and guess what did I do in those 30 minutes - I wrote my diary :) - YES! And the things I was trying to write, were the things I have been thinking about for so long now. 

What kind of a person should one be?

There have been this thought that has been striking my mind since a really long time - what kind of a person should you be? Any kind you choose to be, has certain pros and cons. Like for example, if you are too generous, then probably people end up taking too much advantage of you. If you are too self-involved, then people do not really want to talk to you. When you express your liking for someone, then that person starts finding ways to not like you back. The thought is really deep - and this has been running ever since I started working with my friend KD. I have been forced to think about situations like these, as I feel too trapped in the way emotions are wired in my brain and in my heart. 

After making a mind map of what all is there and my understanding, I finally arrived at a conclusion that from now I will be an unaffected, generous on demand, focused and a carefree person. The best justice that I can do to myself at this point of time, is by giving time to ME and the people who are always going to be with me, irrespective. 

Don't know how much of this will remain with me, but at least, this time I am going to try. Its worth giving a shot! 

Until then - 

#Dream

#Love Delhi! 

The Love Life and Love Delhi Campaign

Someone wise has once said - 'You get what you give!' This thought has always provoked a lot in me - I do not know how much I truly resonate with it, but off lately have developed this habit of trying to be like what I expect, out of others around me.

And everyone in the world likes to happy, likes to be loved, likes to be cared for and receive compassion and warmth from people around. And I am a little 'negative' in all these 'positive' and 'happy' thoughts, honestly. Not that I do not like all these emotions, but because I have liked to be in a stressful state (almost in everything that I have done so far). I remember someone telling me once - ' Zyada khush raho toh nazar lag jaati hain' and I guess that is where it all began... 😛

Being stressed at times has honestly helped me in a lot of ways. To quote some evidences - the stress helped me during my semester exams in College - I never failed any exam :P (although this is not considered very normal for Engineering college students - if you know what I mean ;)! Then the stress has helped me work relentlessly being the Principal - generally it has helped me so far in my professional life! 

But being stressed has had a lot of disadvantages too. To quote some evidences here - you aren't the 'cool' one in your 'gang' of friends and then you are not the most 'sought after' one. And all this seemed pretty reasonable compromises for me to make. 

Being stressed has definitely made me pay some cost, too - like 'seriousness' is all I look for in anything.

I think I now want to experience emotions like compassion, warmth, real happiness, etc and the best way to do that, I feel, is to be compassionate on my own. I will not quote evidences as to some things that I did to be able to get these feelings in me or get them back, but will quote things that I want to do now to feel more complete and happy inside. 

Travelling is something that I have always enjoyed. I have traveled a lot for work and have been to many destinations within the country. Last 5 years, I actually lived out of Delhi (which is my hometown) and then when I came back here, I honestly could not relate to the city rush and the pollution and so much more...

But I believe that living in the moment is really important. And being little satisfied (and yet not be just a little satisfied) with what you have is also important. So, I have decided to start a 'Love Life and Love Delhi' campaign. As part of this, I plan to visit one place (could be a historical monument, a museum, etc) in Delhi every week for fun, leisure and, so I develop some liking for Delhi :)

And I think this is important in many ways - one, I get to do what I like - travelling and then I get to do something that I have never done since my childhood - EXPLORE DELHI - even when I was born here! 

I decided to roam around last Sunday, but honestly because of the work and the 'stress', I could not really go anywhere. But yesterday, finally, I got the chance to randomly drop by JNU - with my colleagues and know more about it (this wasn't the main purpose though - JNU was our meeting place - we were supposed to discuss WORK 😜). Being in Delhi, I never had visited it, even though I used to hear and read so much about it in the news! 

So, here is me lost somewhere in JNU - 

The time spent there was awesome - 'Forest University' is how I would like to describe it! The aura was just so fresh, so rejuvenating, just so so so.......<don't have words to express this 😛>. 

We also went to the 'dhaba canteens' and the three of us ate a few things for just 80 bucks 😮. And ofcourse - not to forget the interesting conversations we had! 

The day was just great! The cherry on the cake being this - 

(Something that will be treasured for a long time 😊)

#Love Life

#Love Delhi

The days gone by!

The days gone by! 

The past week has been one of a kind. I have mixed emotions. I feel blessed for having been in a place I have never been before - a different world - a world where I witnessed some real compassionate and happy people, a world where the acceptance by 'some' (not ALL) seemed really unconditional, a world where smiles are exchanged without any hassles, a world where you can just BE! 

Yes, here I was! My birthday was spent here - doing very different things. The biggest birthday present was talking to people who I never would have met otherwise - too much to write in this regard. Thanks to A, for first letting me be here, then bringing the local 'Honey and Coconut Cake' and then asking me to stand right outside the mess with a friend and telling me to offer the cake to all, as they were coming out of the mess post the dinner. For the first time ever, I was receiving blessings from people I had never met before, but still they were excited to share the day with me and relish the little piece of cake. Truly moved by the emotions. 

The same day I did something I have been meaning to do ever since last April (when I had visited a children monks monastery in Palampur) - YES - teaching monks. I did a 75 minute English lesson with one great group - was a great learning experience!! 

Next was feeling connected with someone here, who took me back to my days in Gujarat - when I used to live on campus. His mention about his 24 x 7 work, then being on his toes so we all feel sorted for our stay and then sharing a few challenges with me - which were completely relatable, just took me back and blew me away. Just this small realization that someone else also could go through the same path, could choose to do something so similar (and with a family), inspired me a lot! 

Then spending my mornings MEDITATING - and then being lost in the nature - for this is something that I never get to do in Delhi. 

Then listening to individuals, almost 60 of them from different parts of the country and from outside, on topics like - 

1. Role of a Teacher

2. Imparting social-emotional skills in children

3. Different aspects of social-emotional training

4. Life

and a lot more...

Then being caught up in the emotion of detachment and the fact that I had to come back to the rush again. And then realizing the same things I have been thinking since the last week of December now - the fact that very few people can reciprocate the same kinda feeling - the feeling that you give them. Very few or no one can match your expectations, and no one can truly understand who you truly are! 

As these emotions were still sinking in, I found myself in yet another favorite place of mine. I risked exiting the airport in the layover (YESSS!). Went to meet some good people I know, and surprised them! :) Would have been complete, if I would have met 'the' one,  but that did not happen! Still - this, gave me happiness! 

And then savoring the 'adventure' sandwich and the bhel at a roadside restaurant, dreading whether we will reach the airport back on time! :) 

Then coming back home for this - 

 And a lot more...

Touchwood! 

2019 begins!

The last year brought in so much - so much so that a blog post cannot even do justice to what I experienced. Probably, I would need a mountain peak/sea beach, a peg or two of whiskey, and someone who I feel comfortable sharing with. And then I am sure the emotions, the experiences, and everything and anything will come out. Haha! 

The year started off with something really unusual. I came back home really late, last night. And then left home really early to go for work. YES! Believe or not - but I was officially working today - on 1st January, 2019. I definitely randomly have worked from home in the years gone on the first day of the year, but never have been to an official training workshop and today I was in one. And whhaatt a dayy it has been!! 

For the first time ever, I danced on a Haryanvi song - 'yaar tera Chetak chala re, tennu chaska Red Farari da' ! I never would have dared to dance or even listen to this song, had it not been in this training today! Had an amazing feeling when teachers especially invited me to dance with them! :)

Last 2 weeks of 2018 have been satisfactory in many ways. I finally was able to finish a chunk of my work - things which were pending since a really long time. Then on 29th - literally being up for the entire night, just so I could enjoy the 30th and 31st. Then the first time snow experience, and so much more - the conversations with a few people, the 'closure' with some, the call of someone who reminded me of early 2018, and then the feeling that no one in this world (except your family) can ever match your expectations, and that all you need to do is to find peace and happiness within yourself. 

And just when I wanted even more satisfaction, I am writing today just so I feel complete, within from all aspects. I need to find happiness within me, coz I know it is there, somewhere. 

I can feel good by doing so much more than what I have been doing so far. I can feel good by living a life in the present - also even thinking about the future a little. I can feel good by just letting things be the way they are. I can feel good by just being 'myself'. And that is what I am going to 'try' doing this year. 'Try' - because I do not know how will this look like! But all I know at this point of time is that it is going to be worth it! 

Bring it on 2019! :) 

And just before I close, here is a quick memory of today -