5 more months! :O

Is this a joke? So much is to be done...! I want more time!! 

No, let it be this much! I will do something with it! 

Food for thought! 

R ~ You do not have the fire in your heart to study, to do something in life! 

B ~ Bhaiya, mere mann mein aag aa gayi! 

G ~ Bhaiya hum ek kaam karte hain, ghar jaa kar apne mann mein mitti ka tel daal denge..aag aa jayegi! 

#Rofl! 

A ~ Bhaiya, my sister loves A didi and S didi.

R ~ Nobody loves me! 

A ~ I love you na, bhaiya! 

#so sweet!! 

Yes, I am lost! 

While writing today's date on the board in my class, my jaw dropped. And then when I had to describe the feeling, I could not resist making a worried face. And the face said "Oh my God! Its October!" 

I am now just 6 months away from the end. End of the Fellowship for me. Though I will go the secondary school with a section of my class, but since that is not the entire class..so yeah, Fellowship will seem to have ended only. 

There is so much that goes on in my mind. All four buckets. Academics being the slowest one now. And then such high expectations. I think I will die someday before the journey ends for me! haha :D 

But ya, I am surely going to miss something when I leave this place. Kids, a lot. And also, people I met. Beautiful mindsets who would make me feel happy whenever I just wanted to feel happy about things. But ya, there are people who hate me too. And that's everywhere.

This last week was something. All of a sudden, I am getting that positive air everywhere. And my superstitions indicate its not a good sign. I will start flying in the air. Not a good sign. Results are not here. I would love to get all the credit at the end, when something happens. Not now, for sure. Too early to say anything as of now, I believe. 

October also reminds that I am just a month away from coming back home. And there is still so much to accomplish before I come back and start thinking about the next turn in the path. 

October is going to be heavy. But I hope I am able to get something at the end of the month. Get a little more clarity. My kids keep learning. But at a better pace than this, man! 5 months they have with me. When will they understand this?? o_O

Has been an insane week! 

I really do not have words to describe how this week went. It has been insane, that's all I can say. I am feeling disturbed today. I do not know for what. But ya something has been going in my mind since last night. I have changed a lot. I believe. The changes are so damn visible in me. What are these changes for? And where am I going towards? I do not understand. 

But one thing I know...I am not repeating these same mistakes! 

Weekly Post!

Hope for the best and chuck the rest! 

So, I am going to write weekly posts from now onwards. I think I have to start venting out on a weekly basis, since everyday this is just not possible..:P 

Last week for me was an eye opener. When I left the place in Rohini and told parents that I shall manage everything, they told me, living alone is not a child's play. And that no time will be saved since I will have to do many extra things. True that. Last week I actually had a lot to manage at home, and so I could not give my 100% to a lot of things. 

Last week had glows as well. I gave 100% to BBL (do not know how much the team there is satisfied with the work, but I am sure they must have got something), I planned everyday, managed "household" - yess, this is one added task :D, took a session at Prathik's meet and ya many others. Got some (all of a sudden :D) appreciation from Prathik and Safdar. Thanks to them :)  And this always helps me in some or the other way! 

And then last week had a lot in it which was disappointing for me. I had to get a place on rent in the community, had to meet Mr. Sonu, pushed myself one day, went half way and then came back. All this happened because of that idiot xerox guy, he pissed me off badly. And then I did not look after my emergent kids after school/ during school hours. This is something that I just cannot avoid at this point of time. And then the PT guy in our school threatening me that if I would not teach in his class, he would get orders from Principal ma'am. This was too much, actually! And then, the studying bit! I could not achieve my targets last week, had to give a practice test as well, which I could not do. 

Oh, then some people making fun of me in front of some others. That was super depressing. I do not know why I got depressed though since I am a person made fun of, very often. But somehow that was too much, I think! 

So, while coming back to parents' on Friday, I was super depressed because all this was going on in my mind. Was feeling unaccomplished. 

Anyway, hope this week I am able to do all of what I could not do last week. Lets hope for the best and chuck the rest :P. I think this should be my policy now. 

Also, I have made a donations page for my class and the link is  http://www.giveindia.org/iGive-theclassofchallengers

I really need donations to do a lot for my class this year. Help me in anyway you can, please! 

Thanksss! Week 2, Unit 3 here you begin! :)

I know I am a man full of problems!

A man full of problems! 

I do not understand why people keep reminding me of the fact that I have so many loopholes in me as a person. I also do not understand why they have not realized the fact that I also agree with them in whatever loopholes they see in me. 

I do not understand why they can't just guide me to be better. Fine, I have problems. And every human being has. If rather than making fun of it, they'd tell me something about how I can rectify it, it would be very great. 

These loopholes have remained in me since quite a long time now. And I have been wanting to get rid of the problems in me since then, I believe. I take steps but they have not not made a long lasting impact! 

There are already a thousand things going on in my head right now. There is so much to do. And I feel like a shit these days since nothing is happening. Rather than giving me steps about how I can go about doing so much, they want to see some other aspect in me. :'( 

On changing the house! :)

After a long time, and so much happened! Life has changed the track! :P 

Ah, it seems as if I am writing after like ages. Ya, because so much has happened since I wrote last! I have started living in a house close to my school. Its really overwhelming, but ya one thing that I will never forget for life! 

Crossing the road to reach to the school, roaming in the streets in the late hours, friends coming home, washing clothes, figuring out food, water and everything else. This is one phase of life. Chandan coming home in the evening.  

I feel relaxed but at the same time really nervous about the fact that I have to make something out of the time I am living outside. BTCP is on a halt. So many meetings. So much to do in the class, with the kids. So many goals to accomplish. A lot to do, in nutshell. 

I am managing so much. Just wondering, all this should not turn out to be like a jack of all, and master of none case. It will not be good.