1st June is here! And its an important day! 

Yes, its an important day, since it marks the beginning of June. And June is a very important month for me since I have loads to be accomplished this month. Below are the several reasons that makes this day important:-

1) Today, I am exactly 3 days away from the much awaited trip "GOA". I don't know why is it awaited, since I am 0% percent excited about it (as of now). I am rather scared of it (for various reasons! :P). But still, I want to be there, get lost in the beach, and be with myself! Rejuvenate! Just the idea that I am going to be away from Delhi, for 5 days, makes me wait for it! 

2) After coming back from Goa, I have to finalize a lot of things. BTCP, post TFI options (though I have been deciding this since last one year, haha :D and never came to a conclusion! :P), have to plan for class and blah blah blah blah (stuff similar to these :P)! 

3) Have to prepare myself for lots of downs! :P Yeaah :P, though I sincerely hope that "downs" don't happen! Haha :D This day makes me exactly a month away from school! So a lot of "downs"!  :D 

4) And also, 5 people in my family, were born in this month! So, the birthdays make this month extra special! Since I will be tensed most of the times (which again I do not want to be! :P), the birthday parties will reduce the stress a little, I believe! Bring peace! And make me happy! Hopefully! :D 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! 

So, Raman Bahl, GET SET GOooooooooo!!!!! :D 

Certain things not destined to be yours! 

I was just wondering how one's life is determined by what's written in his destiny! Though I also believe that one can change his/her destiny but do not know how that happens. I have led my life by thinking the least about it and opting whatever comes my way. 

Whenever I have given a thought about something, very deeply, then that thing never happens to me. Yeah, that's so true! When I start taking interest in something, and want to get it, I never get it! haha, I do sound funny but this is the reality! o_O

Anyway, now I do not really want to mention about what I wanted and what I did not get. Enough of all that!  I am now just waiting for this break to get over, get busy with school and kids, and do some productive work man! This idle time kills me from within. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And it makes me think about issues I do not want to think. Being idle, for me, is surely a crime. Coz I think I do the most stupid stuff when I am idle. People at home take this as an advantage. When I am free, then they make me do stupid stuff and I do not like doing that at all. 

Now coming June, I shall go to school, make myself busy and do everything that will prevent me from thinking about issues that I do not want to think. I do not want to be dependent on too many people around me. That's it! People never guarantee you anything!! Aarrgh! 

The obsession is not right, but I can't help it! 

I have suddenly developed this huge obsession for one of my friends. And I know that it is not good, but still I am not able to come out of it. What to do? Neither I can ignore, nor I can be too much obsessed with that friend of mine.

I am not feeling good today. And the entire blame has to go on too much dependence of mine on others. Knowing the fact, that this obsession is not going to help anyway, still I became obsessed with that friend. And also, I am very well aware that obsession is not good if you are expecting that friendship to last forever.   In spite of the awareness, I got obsessed. And this is not happening for the first time. Wow, Raman!  You're just so good!!

Obsession has not helped anyone, as they say "Excess of everything is bad!". So excess of friendship is also bad. It has just created problems.

And now having such days consecutively since last week, I now suddenly feel that the best way to keep myself away from all this is getting busy. Getting busy with loads of stuff. I am missing school!

36 days more to go!

Came across this and felt like sharing! 

Today, I read an article by Wendy Kopp, CEO, Teach for America. In that article, she talks about the three myths about making an impact. 

Myth#1

Its better to wait until you have some experience

Myth#2

Having an impact is about being first. 

Myth#3

Coming up with a big idea. 

Conclusion: Do not put your desire to change the world on hold. Start now, in constant pursuit of learning and impact. 

My Reflection on this: The myths are true and I believe that age/experience/being first/big idea does not really contribute to making an impact. An impact can be made just by one small work that you do. The basic factor is the motivation that lies within you, to make an impact. But at the same time I also feel that  being knowledgeable really counts. Knowledge in terms of what people actually need. What are the things that are hindering their progress? What can I do to make sure that those hindrances are removed? And then only the impact will be a sustainable one. 

And now after reading this, I am thinking about my BTCP. What should it be? 

Umm, will find it out really soon! :) 

Routine these days! 

I would like to write my routine that I am following these days. Not because it is something that requires publishing but because I want to realize myself what I do. 

Morning!! 

I get up at around 5:30 AM (yeah, that is my habit! :P). Then by 6:30 I would get ready, then go for driving practice. Then when I come back, I eat breakfast. By 8, I would be just sitting idle after finishing breakfast.  And on rare occasions like these, I would write (blog/diary/anything else) or read something (if the book that I am reading is interesting enough :P). If I am not doing any of this, then I would go back to sleep. Sleep till 11 AM. Yes, I like sleeping when I am at home. Then till 12 I would just start cribbing. Cribbing for some stupid reasons. Like: Shit I do not have anything to do! What to do now? I do not feel like doing anything! Why the hell I am at home today? I should have gone out. Done something. Then I would start blaming myself for reasons like I do not have any other interests apart from my work. I do not have a big goal for myself. I am just good for nothing. 

Afternoon!! 

Then by 12 PM or so, I would take out my laptop. Today its not yet 12. But since I have nothing to do, so this blogpost! :D Then I would check my emails. Ha! As if I am the busiest persons on this earth and get lot of emails. And simultaneously I would check my notifications on fb. As if I am a celebrity and get lots of notifications or I am very popular in my peer group that they all keep tagging me, or keep posting me on fb. None of these. Then also I do not know why I keep checking emails and notifications on fb. There should be a fixed time for this. 

By the time I finish doing all this, mom would call me for lunch. I finish eating in less than 10 minutes. And then I feel that I should do something productive and that I have wasted time since morning. And then suddenly, this would come up: "Ohh!! I am so tired now and should sleep for sometime, I am not fresh enough to do anything right now!" And then I will again go back to sleep. Sleep till 5 PM easily. 

Evening!! 

Now again after getting up, I would crib. Crib for various reasons. By this time, my mom realizes that I have not been feeling very comfortable since morning. And then she would talk to me. Give me various suggestions. And then I would show my discomfort to her. That's all I do. 

Then, may be I would go for a walk. But before this, I would think twice, thrice about many questions. Like: I do not have a friend nearby with whom I can walk. What will I do? I do not need a work out. And similar things. Somehow, I prepare my mind to move out. And I would take my phone with me. So I call people. Talk to them. Share my problems with them (problems that are not exactly problems when I am working or when I am busy, but when I have a lot of free time to think!) 

Night! 

And then the dinner. Which I would again eat in less than 10 minutes. May be I would watch TV when I am eating. And I do not like watching TV! I hate it! After this, I would again check emails and notifications. At this time I would feel that I have not chatted on fb today. I would chat for may be 10 minutes with somebody whom I have not spoken to for a long time. And I may/may not get a reply from that person's side. I would wait for sometime. And then I would finally sign out. Shut my laptop. Pick a book. And lie down. I would read for an hour (at max) and then would sleep!!!!! 

So, this is the schedule these days. Any suggestions for me please! I so want to change it. Make my free time busy in way that I do not feel that I am free! Pleeeeeaaassssee! 

Visitors of my blog! I need your comments here! 

Do not know what the heading should be! 

Here I am. End of another day. But this day had no accomplishments at all. I feel incomplete today.

Incomplete in many ways:-

1) Did nothing productive today. 

2) No signs of me getting Ummeed. :'( I do not know what will happen now. Those kids really want to clear tenth grade. Its a must for them. I do not know from where will they get a teacher. 2 years and 2 people have worked really hard on them. I just hope they are motivated enough to do it themselves. Or I hope that things turn around.  For them. For the two teachers who have taught them.

3) I hate the fact that people take me for granted. and today I saw an instance of the same. I do not know what it takes for you to be valued by people. Of course, not too many, since that is not possible. Or is it? I do not know. 

Right now when I am thinking of people for whom I am really valuable, I am actually not getting anyone except family. Is it just me who longs for this value? Or are there other people as well who want to be valued? I do not know even that. I just know that if I am the only person on this earth "desperate" for being valued, then I really have to change this. But how? Its too difficult. 

*Sigh* 

I want tomorrow asap! 

Wandering in the streets of Seelampur, Shahadara and Welcome! ;) 

So today I was in the streets of Seelampur, Shahadara and Welcome. It was real fun! :) And while I was roaming, I got a chance to think about a lot of things!!! 

About the people living in the community:-

• In spite of such narrow lanes, small houses, really small businesses, the people could smile. Wow! I was truly amazed to see this. 
• When my friend told them the purpose of why we were there, some of them really supported us! One of them took us on his bike to the people who we could talk to and who could help us! 
• People understand! I had always thought that others never have the time to listen to anyone. But I was really happy to see that people try to listen and understand you (obviously, when the topic of discussion is understandable! :P)
• Even they want to eradicate the problems by helping! But the problem is of the resources. They do not have enough to offer to needy people. 
• People can discuss their own problems, in the first meeting. Main factor: TRUST! If people trust you, then while listening, they can also share their own problems with you. And building trust does not really take that long! Or does it? I do not know. Walking in the streets there for 3 or 4 hours, and talking to people whom we met for the first time, we also got to listen a lot about their problems. Isn't it trust that made them share with us? 
• People want to make their living "lively". No matter how narrow the lanes are, they want to beautify it, celebrate it to their level best!! Below is a picture of a lane I clicked.which was really narrow, but how people made it lively, I was happy to see that!!!! :) 

*Sigh* 

And while my friend was there enquiring...I was thinking about all this also:-

• I did not really have a purpose behind going there, except helping my friend out. But I was feeling happy about being there. Just by getting to know about people, just by exploring about these areas. And now when this day is about to end, I feel that I have done something. I do not know what. But still I get this feeling. 
• I do not know what am I getting out of this. But still I feel like exploring more. Just walking without a destination! Wandering! 

Ready to go for this again tomorrow! :)