Do I have the drive? 

I do long for doing something in life. But what is it? And then when I start doing something, why do I start losing the drive? Does that mean that the drive is fake? Or that I do not have high expectations from myself? What is it? I do not know.

This day has been super lazy. I did nothing at all. Felt too sleepy. Isn't it just not okay to keep some days like this? I had a super hectic last week. I was tired. So it's okay if I slept and just lazed around. Why am I feeling guilty right now? 

Am I just made to work all the time? Can't I sit idle for sometime of my life? Are all human beings bound to be like this? Or am I the only one who likes to keep moving every time. But even if I am walking, then what is the destination where I have to reach? What is that one place which will keep me happy and contented for my lifetime? And not just me but also people back in my family! Will I ever be able to find that out? Or am I going to be leading a life like this throughout? I cannot live a life like this. 

Dear God, please help me to find answers to these questions. I want them! Its been so long that I am just thinking about what to do. Now I think I should get into action. I should decide that one thing which I really want to do. And keep everyone around me happy. Please God, help me! 

Help me to resuscitate my life,

Help me to have a goal,

a goal that can make me happy,

a goal that can make me contented,

a goal which I can fight for,

a goal that I can aim for, 

a goal, which when accomplished, makes me and my family happy

a goal that can cause a fire in me,

a goal that can be long lived by me! 

Listen to my prayers, for I now need a life of some aim. A life of a purpose. A life without grievances. A life that can be lived! A life when I do not feel guilty for even a single day. When I feel that yes I have done something..something for all the people around me and for myself too.

 Dear Life, I want to love you, truly! :)